The New Dork

A Video Produced by Grasshopper

Video Transcription

Yeah, now I'm in the Blogosphere. Now I'm in the Twitterverse. Fans get so immersed, but I'm a nerd forever. I'm the new Zuckerberg. And since website, I've been cooking dough like a chef serving kilobytes. Used to be the basement back at my mom's place, building web traffic so that we can sell an ad space. Make way for the one-man businesses. They allow spinach with white collar criminals. New Sega Genesis, entrepreneur time, making big plans to dominate the online.

Yeah. I'm on YouTube. This is one man, sharing Google revenue with songs on my webcam. Science is the new art, databases day-to-day, meet, spread and sheet smarts, hustle make the data pay. I could be a valley wag plus geekology, tell from my avatar that I'm most definitely...

Chorus: The new dork. The social network's what dreams are made of. There's nothing you can't do. Now I'm a new dork. This V.C. money is brand new. The geek is now damn cool. Let's hear it for new dorks, new dorks, new dorks.

Catch me up in TechCrunch, right on the homepage. Hell, I'm on Gizmodo in the photo by the phone craze, and I'm up in Mashable. We've got trips in New York, Bar Pitty, One Oak, parties for the new dork. Now I'm pitching business plans from the backs of napkins, micro lend to Africans, monetize Kazakhstan. Catch me up on LinkedIn, dog, CEO. You can see where I be with the IPO.

Now I'm up in skinny jeans. Now a hipster’s lurking. Used to be a reject, but now I'm steady jerking. Now my glass is mainstream, now the girlies eying me. Popular kids copy me. The new swag is irony. Coming from the small time girls couldn't find me. Now I skate on models like a climb on top of Heidi. Starting big trends with the tweets that I pass on. You should follow me because I'm friends with Ashton.

Chorus: The new dork, the social network is what dreams are made of. There's nothing you can't do. Now, you’re the new dork.

Welcome to the future.

Chorus: This V.C. money is brand new, the geek is now damn cool. Let's hear it for New Dorks, New Dorks, New Dorks.

This one goes out to all my people starting businesses, doing what you love.